If Only
by Itar94
Summary: COMPLETE. "Raenef was asleep, again, and Eclipse was watching him." Gentle shounen-ai R/E.


_**Author's note**: This is my first DD-fic ever written, so this is more a try than anything else. It was quite a time since I read DD though, so I don't remember the whole story-line at the moment (Library next?). But enjoy, and tell me what you think ... _

_This piece is unbeta'd, but maybe there's some angel out there who'd like to?_

_**Warnings:** one-sided slash (I think), Raenef/Eclipse._

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**If Only ...**_  
_

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Snoring.

Eclipse looked up, not really as surprised, annoyed, or even angry, as he was supposed to be.

Raenef was asleep. Face buried in the opened book laying on the table, which he probably had not started to read yet anyways, blonde strands falling loose from the ponytail on top of his head. They faintly reflected the light broking through the glass in the windows, like strands of gold, wild gold which could not be tamed by hair ribbons for a very long time. The boy's arms were slung up upon the table over his head, like he tried to shield the world from himself from whatever was now running through his head. Mayhap, he was not dreaming at all. Maybe, he was dreaming about food. Eclipse snorted; it would not surprise him. Why was he so bothered what his master was dreaming anyway?

Truly, he needed to focus on something else than the blonde youth, his face, his thoughts – which he no matter how many months he had known him could not read – his privacy. He was so young, and he, Eclipse, was only a servant and teacher, not ...

He stood from his own chair across the table, for a moment staring at Raenef's slumped shoulders and the ribbon peaking out from the blonde mess, transfixed. A moment he was unable to stop thinking; at once, his gaze traveled over to something else, anything else; landed across the room on the window ... Outside, the sun shone warmly upon a blue sky.

Inside his mind, it was plain obvious, his every thought, these distractions ... but at least he did not have to_ show_ it ... A demon should not feel like this! Where they even able to? He had not thought, before ... before ... He hadn't felt like this before. He wasn't supposed to, damn it, but the only thing his master seemed to have in his lack of evil, wisdom, or brain (Erutis always said so, anyway) he had in charm instead. Irresistible charm. Eclipse could never be angry more than a minute at him, and Raenef never seemed to be angry at him at all.

Eclipse sighed, tearing his piercing gaze from the view and once again focused on the room. When he gently laid a hand on Raenef's shoulder to wake him, the boy didn't stir. Not surprising either. The raven demon leaned closer, as if to speak, but once he opened his mouth to urge his master to wake, he suddenly stilled. It had been a long day, and now when Raenef rested, suddenly this strange peace had settled down over the castle. Raenef's castle, lately a circus rather than a castle, with the knight – as she was refereed – and that cleric boy, unbelievingly enough Raenef's servants ... and friends.

His master maybe didn't deserve to have a nap, though Eclipse suddenly had not the heart to wake him. He looked so ... peaceful, a pure picture of innocence ...

Another sigh passed Eclipse's lips; why was he always thinking like this? Why couldn't Raenef V be like Raenef IV, not this ... this ... innocent, naïve, childish, in his own way only Raenef and not a mighty Demon Lord; Eclipse never could be mad at him for too long. He was becoming soft for him.

Why was it always like this around this blonde boy? Why couldn't he ... _Could what? _he thought, a tinge of bitterness on his tongue._ Tell him?_

If only ...

If things were different, if he had not been a servant, and Raenef a demon lord, such a thing might had been possible – _even if he isn't returning my feelings_ – but then again, if things were different, they probably wouldn't have ever met, and he wouldn't have been this addicted, madly ...

... in love.

Again he was forced into awareness when there was a sudden tug in one of his black locks; subconsciously, his young master Raenef had sensed he was there, and like very often, preventing him from leaving. Eclipse yet refrained from waking him. He frowned. He couldn't let the boy just lie here and he did not have the time – or nerve – to be stuck with him. Every time Raenef grabbed his hair, it hurt in him, in a way he hadn't hurt before; even if he had a hard time admitting it to himself. It hurt inside of him, because he was so close, so very close to something he could never have. One day he was afraid he would break all nerve he had left and admit what he was feeling – he quickly restrained himself. He couldn't keep thinking that.

"_Will you stay with me forever?"_

_... "If that is what you wish."_

Months ago that conversation had passed between them and it felt like yesterday. Raenef was, though Eclipse had a hard time admitting it to himself, taking over his mind. But of course it was impossible his young master felt the same way; he was mere boy, kind all through so all signs of affection were only of friendship, even if Raenef one day said 'I love-'

_Focus!_

He laid a hand on Raenef's shoulder, shaking gently, and said, "Master Raenef, wake now." He felt the warmness of the boy's skin through the fabric of his shirt. Why did he always have to wear those light, tight-fitting clothing? It was so_ damn distracting_. What was wrong with robes anyway?_ At least then I'd be able to focus on something else than __**him**_, Eclipse thought.

"Master Raenef ... ?"

The boy's hand clung to his hair. He did not stir though a soft muttering reached his ears; "N't'now potatoes..."

Eclipse shook his head with a small chuckle. So, he was stuck here until Raenef woke up ... Again he shook his master's shoulder, a little harder this time.

"...Wh't?" murmured a sleepy Raenef, who probably had not at the moment any cue of what was going on.

"Master Raenef, you should wake up. The lesson has ended anyway. I can make something to eat, if you'd like." _Anyway, he isn't going to refuse any food._

"...'kay, 'clipse." Slowly, he lifted his head, finally letting go of his teacher's black hair and rubbed his eyes. Before him the vision of an open book swam and he couldn't read what it said at all. He lifted his eyes to look at Eclipse, who took the book from the table and closed it.

"So the lesson's ended now?" Raenef asked hopefully and Eclispe almost sighed seeing those wide eyes stare up at him – pleadingly, in that way he could not object Raenef's wish and could only think how beautiful he was.

"Yes, Master Raenef. It has ended. I'll go fetch something to eat."

"Great!" Raenef exclaimed and then he was gone from the room; it was a wonder how fast he could move from one room to another at the mention of food. If only he was as a fast in his studies as well ... There was a call from outside the door; "See you in the gardens soon, Eclipse!"

If his master and student had been different, he wouldn't be the Raenef V that he had gotten to know. Things would have been different ...

"_Yes,_ Master Raenef, I will," Eclipse murmured under his breath. It was quite impossible for Raenef to hear him, even if he used magic to do so, which Eclipse doubted he would. He couldn't help but smile a little; something only those who knew him could recognize as a smile, the tugging of his lips.

"Go," he said, to vanish and the next moment appear in the kitchens. There was not a mess in the kitchen – yet – unlike many other places of the castle because of his master's two friends, Erutis and Chris. In a way, without his master's friends and Raenef's usual sleepy, hungry, naïve, self, things would have been different and if it changed now he would not have felt this ... home with him. That incident with Raenef's other self, caused by a book – a _talking book,_ for heaven's sake! - had actually frightened him.

Yes, things could have been very different.

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**Author:** So, that wasn't exactly the ending I was looking for, but I hope it wasn't all that boring ... (Maybe another fic about them would hold a little more ... action?)


End file.
